edge of edgy

March 18, 2024

• uncle

  He hadn’t eaten for six days. Blood pressure was really low. It’s sad. It's hard to see, witness and further hear about someone’s decline. Had he taken care of his health better over the years — especially that mental bit, how would he be now? Guess you never really know. Life just goes as it goes.

• rock bottom

  Maybe this is the world where he hits hard — rock bottom — as the effects of alcoholism and drugs finally catch up to him. In another world, maybe he hits rock bottom due to the loss of a loved one.

• maybe moves

  We really don't know what anything is or was for anyone. Nor what will be. All we can know is our story, fully. We're the ones writing it. Making the moves. Or not.

• rock bottom 2

  Our rock was suddenly not there. He left us in a very traumatic, shocking way.

• differently

  Dad’s death affected us all — in different ways. And we lived our lives differently thereafter.

• mom

  Mom had to do it all, but she was always good at that. She had to do it all as early as childhood.

• brother

  He took on the take care of Mom role. He didn't have to do this. She was and still is healthy enough with a decent, but, sometimes, delusional head on her shoulders.

• comfort of comfort

  He prefers the comfort of comfort. Like me, he was forced to grow up so fast, that I think now that he can just be comfortable in his routine, he’ll be.

• two serious

  He definitely is the more serious one out of the two of us, yet I have two years on him.

• peace

  Not that I'm doing it all right over here. But I am living the life I want. Sure, I could always be better — to strive for more serenity. Peace.

• life's short

  Early in life, I learned life could end early. I knew life was short, and I didn't want to waste a minute not living it.

• pushing far

  I adventured near and far. Have I gone far enough?

• megan goes global

  I left the Megan of Missouri to be the Megan of this world.

• gone living

  I sometimes wonder if I ran away. Because home was never the same without him there. Was it that I didn’t want the constant reminder that he was gone? Or maybe I was just living for both of us.

• comfort of comfort 2

  I don’t mean to be reckless. I mean living on the edge of normal and not. And maybe this edge is where I feel the comfort of comfort.

• edge of edgy

  My foot’s on the corner lip teetering. Losing balance but balanced knowing my ground is right there, beneath the edge of my edginess.