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February 20, 2024

  • Took to the trail today.

    I'm really diggin' diggin' my feet into gravel. It's more technical, surprising. Involves looking a few steps ahead otherwise I’ll eat shit. It's tough, but fun. I even found a new “my spot.” It looks directly up at "El Tajo Fuerte." The other eye-catching, soul trapping mountain here. It stands tall. Strong. Just like its name. I stopped there to meditate. Let go and let mountain.

  • I really do feel held by them. Reminds me about a post I wrote a while back about mountains and how there is this sense of belonging one gets in them. This feeling of all an encompassing embrace. Does "encompassing" come from the word "compass" — which is the instrument that helps you orient yourself? That would make sense, as a compass is what points you in the direction you're going. It tells you if you are "due North, South, East or West" …. And what is the "due" referring to in this phrase? Like “due” as in the library books are due in a week? Or you're going to do something in that direction without deviation?

  • Get it done. I can't spend too much time on these very maybes and focus on what are definitelys.

  • It's weird, I feel so far removed from life in Berlin when I'm here. In a way, I like it. I can only concern myself with myself.

  • I'd love to get on some post-run poetry, as it’s been a bit. I have a couple that are close. I want to put that soundtrack one out. Maybe something about "Soundtrack to my Strides" as a play on Kid Cudi's “Soundtrack to My Life” — and I’d use the line, "I haven't been right since my dad died."

  • I have so much to do... I need to stop freaking out about it. Enjoy where I am for as long as I am. I will not be here with these cats on my own again until maybe this summer. I think that’s what's really happening. I'm sad to leave them.

  • Feeling off right now. Feeling down even. Maybe I'm crashing from my coffee and runner’s high.

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the struggle with challenge