sparks
March 8, 2024
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What a feeling. Being back to the buzz of Berlin, but not feeling it — not the buzz, nor the roar.
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It’s that same, underlying tremble, vibration, laborious buzz turned on by stress and anxiety — and excitement, which is why I'm having a bit of a time deciphering the root cause.
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Although who am I fooling? But myself. I know it's the initial three-day long lasting side effect of being in one place and having one rhythm to be taken from that beat of the drum. Beat. Exhausted because I gave my all. Was my everything. There. Now I'm here to reacclimatize to here again.
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I'm ready to also have a landing pad that is mine here. Where I can also feel cozy amongst the things — my few sentimentals — not someone else's.
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I know my friends don't expect me to jump right back into hanging out ASAP — that I do need space/time to "come to." Get my Berlin legs and brain back.
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There's some juicy shit in there. I almost want to have a #RatedM tag so that I can filter bits to those who have the subscription. At the same time, maybe it's just good to warn people.
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I really don't know what’s going to happen, and who would with anything? I do feel good about it, though.
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I feel myself. Kinda like I feel myself in those mountains. It's like an extra notch is ticked up and on. But not just an extra, but the only notch left to bring me to full me. Full vitality. Fun & funny.
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I like to make connections with words of wisdom from the wiser to my own life's happenings. Kinda cool when those connections collide creating sparks of who knows what.