molly jane
Context: Memories of Molly transpired from my Morning Pages written on March 15, 2024 when reminiscing on how I’ve always liked having a change of scenery. This fondness for a change up started as early as a young Megan rearranging the furniture in her bedroom. I always needed more space for dancing. I’d make up silly dances involving Molly, my chocolate lab, front and center — where she always was in my little girl heart and will forever remain in my big girl one, too.
I miss Molly. She was the best dog ever in this whole wide world. I'm actually tearing up thinking about her. I think she was my first love. True, unconditional love for an animal.
I was too young with Cayman.
And then with Dee Brain, our cat — the one I really wanted who was rescued by Uncle Steve’s ex-wife. I loved her, too. But it was different. Molly and I were soul sisters.
Yeah, she did sprain my wrist once, but that's because she was so excited to see me. I remember it clearly. We were in the backyard playing. She ran her leapy run towards me. On me. Knocking me over. And I landed on my weak little wrist. I wasn’t mad at her. I loved her.
I still do.
It’s so strange to break out into tears writing about a beloved pet I lost over 16 years ago now. I guess it's not that strange. Maybe what is, though, is that I don't think I've cried while writing in my Morning Pages. Ever. Not through writing about the loss of human life — people I know who have passed before me, loss of relationships, break ups, etc. For those, I cried off page.
Only here/now thinking, reminiscing about my Molly is the first and only time I’ve cried in the midst of moving words along a page.
It was the line about Ace of Base that got me remembering her sweet chocolate furry face. I would include her in my choreographed dance routines. She’d always take the center. She’d sit and I'd dance around her, as if she was a maypole.
Molly, you weren't a girl’s best friend to me, you were my sister. You are why I love animals so incredibly much because you taught ne — and caught me (and my heart) — how big of hearts you nonhuman beings can have.
I wonder if you come around to me through these other dogs I've been sitting over the years.
Are you Jane? If so, I will get to hang out and cuddle with you again soon.
