a sliver of timelessness

Context: This the full entry from my Morning Pages written on June 2nd, 2024. I didn’t take the time to pluck particular parts for #megcerpts. This time, it felt right to just let this one be. As is.
…..

I don't think I acknowledged that we’re already in June. We're already through almost half of 2024.

It's hard to believe. And I know people say this all the time —  I say this — when it comes to time flying by and how it just goes. Quick. I want it to slow. Down. I realize this is impossible. The only thing we can do to fake the slow is to be more present in it. 

I know it’s easier said than done. I don't know if I am that good at it. But can one even be good at presence? Isn't it just being? Not something we need to force a performance on. That we just are. 

Take a breath and take stock of that which is our body/mind — our being. Our life. 

I would say writing in these pages definitely helps with presence. Again, not at being "good" at it, but just being, doing, noticing. 

Right now I'm noticing peace and quiet — well, kind of, other than the birds chirping and hooting. 

The weather is absolutely unreal. It’s perfect.

So I'm noticing the temperature, which feels like there isn’t one at all.

I feel like I’m part of the air. Lucid. Fluid. Flowing.

The rooster just spoke — well, since taking a bit of a break from earlier. 

The sun is trying to break through the clouds. I refrained from saying, "trying its hardest [to break through]” because I don’t think the sun tries. It just is. Ever mighty and there — doing its thang. 

I want to capture this feeling. Writing it helps. It's happiness. Comfort. Safety and calm. 

It's about time. And when I say this I play with the words and mean a few things with this feel.

This place is timeless. It's a sliver cut into the mountains where you can really just be with it: time itself or it lacked there of. 

Time doesn't matter here, at the same time, it's one of the most impactful matters that does. Because it's tied to finitude and family and living that "once upon a time" we had that one life in that quaint Andalucian village amongst real people —  living life without much care of things, but about good natured bonds with loved ones and good nature, herself. 

It's also about time in that I found my happy place. Again. Maybe it'll morph into somewhere else. Maybe not. Maybe it'll always be here. En frente del espejo del alma. 

In front of my HP. The thing is she's always with me because I'm her. I trust her. To really take me where I need to go. And keep me put when I need  to stay.

Stuck with and to time. 

And not in the negative sense of “feeling stuck,” but in the I’ll put roots down to hold myself grounded to a place and time. Where I need to be and when. 

Right now it's right here. Safe and sound; tucked in with timelessness and together with me. Home. Here. Now. Aquí y ahora. Feliz y fuerte. Evolving. Into a wild(e)r woman.

Every single day comes in its own time. For now it's about time I just let time be. To have its own sense of it. Its own being. With time itself.

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molly jane