stomping my heart out — to feel it all

Context: This the edited version of my full entry from my Morning Pages written on September 11th, 2024. Photo credit: Dolo Iglesias
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I watched a kid stomp his feet in what seemed like anger as he followed his mom to get in line for the bus. I wondered, “Why do kids stomp their feet when they’re upset? And why don’t we, as adults, allow ourselves to do the same?”

Stomping seems healthier than saying hurtful words, being violent or worse — bottling it up until it explodes later. If it doesn’t explode, that energy festers, infecting the body with negativity that can be destructive in ways we don’t always see.

Pent-up emotions — what I’m calling "pention," from the tension that builds when emotions are held in — are lethal when they’re not properly felt, dealt with or "stomped out."

Gabor Maté, a renowned physician and author known for his work on the connection between physical health, mental health and emotional well-being, argues — and has the research to back it up — that this kind of suppression can cause illness, even cancer.

That was one of the biggest, most eye-opening takeaways from the slice of his massive book The Myth of Normal that I’ve read (thus far). It’s the nice people who get sick. They’re the ones who always put others first, neglecting their own needs and emotions. Their “bodymind,” as Maté calls it, absorbs the emotional fallout — even the good stuff — in ways that turn toxic.

Writing about this makes me excited to work with people’s bodyminds again. I want to talk to them, touch them, help them create space to feel, process and move through their emotions (both literally and figuratively). So they don’t get stuck. So they can move past the stagnation that causes heartache to seep into every part of their being, affecting not just the physical and emotional, but the mental as well.

This is where creative blocks happen. When emotions aren’t flowing, creativity gets stifled.

As a creative coach, I believe that unlocking the flow of emotions is key to overcoming these blocks. By guiding individuals through their emotional landscape and creating a safe space where they can freely express and process their feelings, my goal is to help them find their flow and (re)ignite their creative spark. Because when emotions are properly felt and processed, creativity has room to flourish, leading to breakthroughs and a deeper connection with one’s Art and self.

Back to that stomping. We often associate it with anger, but why not stomp when we’re happy or excited, too? I know I have. Think of it as jumping up and down with joy. Like those Flamenco dancers I love so much — stomping as if there’s no tomorrow, lost in the love of life, maybe even in love with someone else.

I want to dance my heart out. That phrase — "dance one’s heart out" — is worth examining.

To dance, run or play one’s heart out means going all-in, giving your whole heart to whatever you’re doing. Not saving even a tiny trocito (“small slice” in Spanish) for anything else because in that moment, whatever you’re engaged in deserves all your undivided attention (your mind) and unconditional love (your heart).

Funny enough, wanting to dance my heart out is about wanting to feel even more.

It’s almost like a natural high. The deeper you are in that moment, the more you’re moving emotions through you. And it doesn’t have to be all good feelings — when you tune into your heart, anything goes. The beauty is in experiencing flow.

It’s about feeling the rush as your heart keeps the beat, fully immersed in what and who you love, and the love you have for life itself.

I want to stomp my heart out, Flamenco style. To feel everything, Feist style.

Remember her and that catchy song? I think I’ll listen to it now. And add it to my running playlist, so I can run my heart out to it, too.