where fantasy ends & love begins
“Where does fantasy end and love begin?”
This question gives me butterflies. Because I fantasize about seeing him again. I even reminisce about these two dates we had. Isn’t reminiscing about a surreal experience — some chemical magical moments in time another term for fantasizing? It's a reflective fantasy because the wonderful thing did happen. It was so real. So fucking good. Felt so raw. It felt better than fantasy because it actually transpired. And then who’s to say that wasn’t love? If you enjoyed the moments and blip in time so much — you really loved it and loved being in that person’s presence — could that even of been love? I think so!
Why does love have to be this thing that we have to achieve — why can’t we just allow ourselves to feel it, give it and be in it — even for that moment’s time? I feel the love I have for this man I hardly even know because we were able to just be. Honestly. Ourselves in each others’ presence. What’s not to love about that?!
Reflecting and reminiscing on this blip in time in my life feels so full of love — it is love. It’s not fantasy because it is real. Where does fantasy end and love begin? Well, maybe simply calling it what it is — in the moment. When dreaming is actually living the dream. When you can just say it loud and clear — that I’m having these strong, loving feelings towards someone, something, some place, some moments in time, some memories that weren’t fake nor fantasy, but fucking so real they felt surreal. For real love.
I was even thinking today about the infamous song, “Addicted to love.” And how aren’t we all? Aren't we all striving to feel love? For ourselves, each other, the planet? Why feel hate when you can feel love? Why fantasize when you can just live it? Why not say the things on your head and heart — even if you might get “rejected”? Because isn’t saying it out right — being impeccable with your word — worth everything to living your truth. Which is a big part in loving yourself fully.
Love is love is love they say. Love’s no fantasy. It’s not fiction nor fake. It’s fucking real. And love begins when you feel it. Say it. Live it. When you are it. And when you share it with others, the world and yourself — first and foremost!