mine to share
March 24, 2024
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This might be my last blue pen in the bunch with a punch of ink left. Then it's back to green before back to Modular to restock. I like writing in either color over black. Makes the words feel less serious, even if they are.
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And I'm not saying I want to pull any emotion away from a line of seriousness, but I do prefer blue over black. That's it.
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Your heart doesn't need this. It doesn't need to be safekept, sheltered. What it needs is its own freedom to feel for itself. Fully.
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I became dull over those years. And maybe that's too harsh to say about myself, but I felt like I lost my color. My spark for life.
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Sure, we went through a lot of big life changes together and those wore on us and us, individually, down.
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Now that I'm on my own again, I'm happy. Free. Me. It's like the lyric in the song, "And I'm happy, nothing’s going to stop me." Because I am and nothing will. I'm really fucking happy. In fact, I would even say I'm elated AF.
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I've come back to Megan at the same time this updated version is even better. I’m the same great Megan we all knew and loved, but with more fun features — like being more in touch and in tune with my emos, more vulnerable.
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He wrote the other day about how several people asked him if he was the abuser in my DV story that I shared a while back. I was shocked.
Unfortunate that people would even wonder that. About him. At the same time I wonder if they even did the fucking math. I said I empathesized with his sitch, but I'm not sorry for sharing my story because it's mine to share.